I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
