Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
