Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
