real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
