dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
