my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently you make a good broom.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
