That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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