I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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