Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
