Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
