I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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