First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
50% drunk capacity currently
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
