I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
