Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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