It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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