You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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