used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
