watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
