He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
