you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
