I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
