he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
