so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
