Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
