I need help removing her.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
