apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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