I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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