guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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