Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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