I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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