think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
