no, he came in my armpit
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
