we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
