quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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