Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
