Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
