i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
