just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
