i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm sobbing to NWA
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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