these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
