How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
