also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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