I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's rum buckets o'clock
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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