if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
