I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up under a house in Key West
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