I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
