i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
