the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
