Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
