Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
