He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
