get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
