Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize