Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
