The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you had me at cake vodka
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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