he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
