i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
