There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
